Am I a player?

Funny thing I’ve noticed: I actually use some of the techniques that are presented in “Uppdraget” (and also in “The Game“) by Neil Strauss, and I have been using them for years to manipulate people around me into liking me.

But I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing though. As long as my goal is to make people feel good and comfortable when they’re around me, and not like… brainwash them… or try to get into their pants… or anything creepy like that.

If you use books like these in the right way, they could actually help to make this world a nicer and more interesting place for everyone to live in.

There’s a chapter on ‘telling stories’ for example. Telling stories is (in my opinion) the most beautiful and inspiring thing a person can do.  Telling a story is opening up and letting other people inside you. It is making a connection with others and also it’s a way of making sense of this world we live in. This world which at times can seem so illogical and cruel… Stories are needed to get us through this life with our sanity somewhat intact.

I imagine an everyday life where strangers just start talking to me out of the blue, where they put fear of rejection away and just share their thoughts or memories for the fun of it. Simply to make human connections. To make the days and nights of our lives more entertaining and meaningful.

I love it when that happens. When strangers come up to me and start chatting. Men as well as women, old as well as young, there doesn’t have to be any form of attraction involved, just a human life with stories to share.

It’s actually better if there isn’t any attraction involved. That’s when you can listen to the stories without being interrupted by self awareness (such as “how does my hair look?” “Is he checking me out?” “Do I look attentive and interested?”). That’s when nothing gets in the way of truly listening and sharing.

I’ve worked in sales, both outdoors and indoors sales, and I can only state that I was a natural at it. I think it’s because I always seek that connection with strangers, a connection you need to enjoy to be a good salesperson.

The whole selling stuff-part of the job was just an excuse to get to speak to strangers and try to make a good enough connection with them, make them feel comfortable enough with me, get them to trust me enough, to buy whatever it was I wanted them to buy. Bearing in mind now that I was never interested in their money. I never counted my profits while working. It was simply a game of getting people to like me and trust me in a short amount of time. The exchanging of money and goods was nothing more than a physical materialised proof of my success. This drive in me could just as easily be applied to working for a political party… gathering names for some humanitarian cause… or getting elected prom queen.

I’m manipulative and I get kicks out of it… Sometimes I choose to see it as being inspirational. They’re two sides of the same coin. Yes. But when there’s money involved, it’s… wrong. I tend to lose track of right and wrong when I get too involved in the competition of it all. That’s one of the reasons why I know I’ll never go back to working in sales… Also, there’s the fact that it doesn’t give me enough of a sense of purpose to work with exchanging stuff for money.

Neil writes about purpose too. And he writes about setting goals. About taking a good look at yourself in the mirror and about working hard and putting an effort into bettering yourself.

All good things. Goes to show you shouldn’t judge a book by it’s covers.

Still I’m really looking forward to finishing this book… so I can dive into The Dirt ! I’ve heard so many great things about it, from various people who’s opinions I trust and respect.

I know of course that it can’t be as moving and inspiring for me as the Jenna biography, but I like Neils way of writing. There’s no fuss to it. He keeps his frasing clean and straight and there are no unecessary sentences.

(Just a small but though: if I’d have been editor for the Jenna-book I would have cut the interview-parts… they were a bit confusing… and not very interesting in content… goes to show even the sun has its spots!)

Aaaight, time for me to be getting back to my books now, my sweet darlings. Laters y’all!  😉


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