The perfect party. I mastered the toasts, my sister Ulrika backed me up. She and I… we make a great team, there’s no denying it. She inspires me. Pure love peeps, puuuure love. She sang “Hon är så fri Helena” and it was…incredible. It was just so mom, you know… I’d never heard that song before. It’s a Cornelis-song. …she is so free Helena. and her journey is her goal…
I held a speech in mothers honour. There were so many things I wanted to say to her, about her. I had written 4 pages (and that was only topic-words!) in preparation… didn’t go through all of them…
I got out the most important things though. Like the story of when I was 12-13 years old and she punished me for being too violent (she over reacted… I wasn’t that bad…) and made me go to (drumroll…) therapy! It was terror. I hated it. I went one time and never ever ever again! HAha, therapy was a punishment! hahaha!
…but I still just wanted to keep on speaking to her for weeks and months and years. It’s like all these feelings in my heart can never be expressed fully in words. She is my hero. My safe place. She is art and love.
When I work I have a picture of her on my drawing table. It just keeps me in that creative mode to look at her.
Tonight I’m going back to Malmö. It feels good going back there. Stockholm is so big and …complicated sometimes.
Midnight train going anywhere. And then when the train leaves the platform, as I’m watching the lights of the city, like a million stars through the rain spattered window, Stockholm flying by in the night, that’s when this goes through my head.