Okay, so I took care of what was wrong with the second page and added a third page. Still need to re-arrange the panels on the first page though. And give the inking some extra finesse too.
Unt now! Second page. Very different from the first version. Much better, but I still need to get some background in the last panel… the dirty panel. *blushing*
The text is still the same, just spread out on more panels.
No! It’s not the same! I actually made a few changes in the text when I re-drew it. Should probably translate it all over again for you guys…
Hey, tell ya what! I’ll fix what needs fixing and then put it up with english text in the panels!
I had my first meeting with Stina Hjelm, one of my mentors on this journey to creating the most magnificent book in the world, yesterday. She told me to take a break from the actual drawing of the book and just draw the characters over and over again until they had become a muscle memory in my hand.
I drew and I drew and I drew aaand theeeen I just couldn’t help myself so I made a two-page comic. 😀 It isn’t finished yet though, but I thought I’d show you guys how far I got this first day anyway.
Right now I’m thinking of re-arranging the first and second panel. Have it begin with the bathroom-panel instead. Also I will probably move the text around a bit too in this first page… It should read:
“When I was little and did something good”
bubble: “Oh my dear! You’ve been such a good girl!”
“my mother said I was a good girl“
“When i started school I got a teacher who was very pretty…”
“and kind of strict”
“I hurried through my school books” “checked of excercise after excercise” “read” “wrote” “calculated”
“Just to hear those words”
bubble: “Oh, would ya look at that! finished already? What a good girl!”
Ahhhm… the second page has some… sex. hrm. It’s kind of awkward to put it up here I guess, since I allways nag on my mom about not reading my blog… ahm… so OM DET ÄR MAMMA SOM LÄSER DETTA SÅ KAN DU BARA STRUNTA I RESTEN, OKEJ? DET ÄR INGET ELAKT OM DIG, DET ÄR BARA LITE PINSAMT.
Got some smudge on the nether part of this page. Sorry, will fix a lot of things before it’s done… But now: translation!
“Now I’m all grown up”
“25 years old” “When mom was 25” “she was a mother of two”
“I still just wanna be”
“a good girl“
“The best thing I know is when I’m with a man…” “and he says…”
bubble: “That’s it, good girl. Mmm… you’re such a… ah, yes… gooood girl“
“Then I get crazy horny”
“Which is kind of sick” “that my sexual impulses” “can be traced back to me wanting to be a good girl for mommy”
“But who’s not kind of sick?” 😉
Hey guys… I just noticed that it has just a liiittle too much information in the last panel… Will probably have to spread that text to a third page. It’s way too heavy to have it all squeezed together like that. It just messes up the whole rythm of the reading-experience.
Yepp, I have a lot of fixing up to do on this comic… Will probably get back to you with the result when it’s finished!
Love and kisses to all of you readers, and to your neighbours, and your spouses, and to your friends, and alsooo… waaaaiiit fooor iiit…. waaaaiiiit foooor iiiit… to your enemies!!! haHA! 😀