Sometime, somewhere, where you least expect it…

someone might come up to you and say: SMILE! I’m your repressed demon!

Demons in dreams can represent parts of your unconscious mind that have been repressed and neglected and are now threatening to disrupt or mutilate the psyche. These demons should be approached lovingly, given attention and be integrated into your conscious life. This will bring about their conversion, which is to say that they will cease to threaten and will contribute their vital energies to the enhancement of the self.

Self-knowledge – knowing what we are carrying around with us in our unconscious – is the only sure defence against what in ancient times was called demonic possession, which in psychological terms means the conscious ego being taken over by unconscious forces such as obsessive fear or anger, or whatever.

So, are you in a relationship where you have stormy fights every other day? Then it’s probably due to your repressed demons being activated by the two of you projecting your unresolved issues on the other…

Solution?

Well, in my experience these are steps in the right direction:

1) recognize what you are doing.

2) bring in to light that you are not in a healthy situation.

3) verbalise what is happening (first to yourself and then to your partner/therapist/friends).

3) accept what you are, the good and the bad.

4) work actively on bettering yourself.

5) forgive yourself if you fail and get yourself up and try again. Winners never quit! 

Tillägnad Mia Widén, jobbar vidare på “babyboy”…

My best  and sweetest colleague Mia Widén listened to a hiphop-tune I’d posted on facebook a while back and commented on the fact that guys have a tendency to refer to women as “baby-girl” when women very seldome call men “baby-boy”. Interesting observation for sure… especially since I often view men as little boys in need of nurturing.

It’s probably some maternal instinct acting up. Anyway, this picture above is not only unfinished, it’s sick and weird as well… and definately on the theme of baby-boys ^_^ so ENJOY!

Now quizzmaster Frida is going back to the party. Kissez honeybuns! And an extra big howdyhitheresweetcheeks to tha’ foxy leydhey Emma, your comment made my day

Artists in colaboration

In Lizzies room there’s a closet more magical than the one in The Chronicles of Narnia. Everyone that comes to our home is invited to doodle on it and I think somewhere around 20-30 people must have put their mark on it by now.

It is truly an original piece of art, and if sold would probably generate more dough than you can stuff in a bathtub. I’m just sayin’…

So guys, do you recognize my style? Can you spot my doodles? Can you spot Lizzies work? Thobies? (Lisa ‘n Thobie are all over it ’cause they were the instigators of this marvelous idea)

summary of 2009 pt 3

17) Compared to this time last year, are you: – happier or sadder?

Oh! Tough question. I was really really happy last year around this time. And I’m really really happy now… It’s been an almost constant high for a year and a half now… Nah, I’ll go with the now. I’m happier now.

18) What do you wish you’d done more of?

theater. musicals. opera. conserts.

19) What do you wish you’d done less of?

trash-talk and negativity.

20) How will you be spending Christmas?

Ahm, it’s in like… 10 months. So… I don’t know. I might even be dead by then.

21) Did you fall in love in 2009?

Yes. I fall in love every day. Living is loving. Loving is living.

22) How many one-night stands?

one. And it was really lame. I was a goddess of course, but he was boring. Too young and insecure. yeacsh! I need a man to be a real man.

23) What was your favorite TV program?

The office (US). I’ve seen it so many times over and over and I’ve spent so many nights watching clips from the show on youtube.

… I should mention American Idol too. It’s an amazing show! It has e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g! And there’s a new season airing now that I have. to. see.

24) Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

No. Yes. No.

… no.

25) What was the best book you read?

This year… the best… book… I read a lot of comic books. I really enjoyd Blankets. Black Hole was cool too.

I should read more… I have three half-read books going right now. One in my purse, its a Herta Müller book that I got from mom for christmas. And then there’s Fågeln som vrider upp världen, or Nyckelfågeln or something, by that japanese guy, Murasaki or whatever lying up in my bed. And the big book on “ugly” that Ullis gave me.

But I just have so many other things I want to do rather than read books right now… Like draw and write and blog and facebook…

26) What was your greatest musical discovery?

Johan K.

27) What did you want and get?

as above, so too below…

Want 2009.

Get 2010.

28) What did you want and not get?

Jesus christ, three questions in a row with the same answer?! Give me a break, I’m even tiring my self now.

29) What was your favorite film of this year?

This was a tough one… can’t remember…

It could be that Lars von Trier-film, Antichrist. It was really disgusting and beautiful. And it made me doubt my whole sex.

I felt evil.

For being a woman.

But when I saw it again I could see the mans part of the wrongdoings too. It is definitely worth seeing twice. And it’s also worthy of discussion. I think this one came to mind because I had so many good discussions and interesting conversations about it after seeing it.

No, maybe Watchmen was my favorite film! I loved Watchmen! The colors! The music! How they seemed to have followed the comic book frame by frame! And not to forget: Rorschach!

By the way, was Juno from 2009? If it was it might be up there in the top too… nah…

30) What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Younger and older than I’ve ever been or ever will be in my life. I am all of my ages at once right now. I am eternal. (also, I already answered this question before.)

31) What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

See 26.

32) How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?

Something borrowed something blue, something old, nothing new. But as my mom always says “en skönhet klär i allt, Frida.”

33) What kept you sane?

Who’s sane? … who said that? h-hello?

34) Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Barak Obama. No doubt what-so-ever. Jag skulle inte banga.

35) What political issue stirred you the most?

I don’t stirr easily over politics. But a good story can get me engaged in current events from time to time. Can’t remember o-n-e  s-i-n-g-l-e t-h-i-n-g right now though.

36) Who did you miss?

Bella and Ullis.

36a) Did you treat somebody badly in 2009?

Maybe. I try not to. Yes. Yes I did. I’m sorry M. But I just felt weird and regretted it all and just… nah. I’m sorry.

I can now come up with three, maybe four people whom I’ve let down or hurt somehow last year.

I was so cocky when I started answering these questions… I felt like I was on top of the world… Like I was a goddess of pure love, strength and righteousness.

But then after a while of strolling down memory lane, it dawns upon me… I am just me. Good or bad is insignificant. I’m human. I make mistakes. I’m trying to better myself though…

37) Who was the best new person you met?

Petra. Lisa. Thorbis. Lullis. Max. Per. Klara. Hugo. Mathilda. and of course, see 26.

37a) Did somebody treat you badly in 2009?

Not without reason. I hold no grudges. I will never become bitter.

38) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:

Quitters never win

&

Winners! Never! Quit!

—————————————————————–

Summary of 2009 pt 2

7) What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

My birthday? ’cause I spent it in my own way.

8.) What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Realizing that I don’t need very much as long as I have myself.

And facebook. As long as I have myself and facebook, I’m cool.

9) What was your biggest failure?

This year was something of a winning streak. Minor setbacks. A couple of minor panic attacks. Nothing serious though.

10) What was the best thing you bought?

Julie Doucets “My New York Diary”. Only the best thing I’ve ever bought. And now I can’t find it… I’ve looked everywhere… Maybe I lent it to someone and forgot to whom. I was gonna buy a new copy, but they didn’t have it in any of the bookshops in Malmö. Stupid stupid Malmö-bookshops! I sooo miss the comic-bookshops in Stockholm right now… :’(

11) Whose behavior merited celebration?

I’ll have to go with L, for opening up and taking steps towards liberation. I see much of myself in her. She’s started her journey and I have full faith in her ability to grow. Strong and independent.

12) Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

I did not get depressed or appalled over anyone for the entire year of 2009. Not that I can remember anyway… But ever since I was a child I seem to have been blocking out stuff that I don’t want to remember… According to my sister Ullis anyway. Sometimes she says this or that happened, and I just have no idea what she’s talking about. Funny how the mind works, ey?

13) Where did most of your money go?

Food. Semlor. Drugs. Prostitutes. It just went away… I don’t know. I don’t really notice where my money goes. Like with most things in life, money will always come and go. A constant flow of back and forth. Richness and poverty. Have and have not. No point in obsessing over it. Don’t worry, be happy.

14) What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Haha, e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g!

15) What song will always remind you of 2009?

Starts with goodbye and Lessons learned by Carrie Underwood. :’)

For Leeza

If I could, I’d give ‘em to you…

TOTALLY AWESOME

Summary of 2009 pt 1

I answered these questions a month or so back but never posted them anywhere. Right now, with this never ending grayness hovering over the city, I needed to remind myself of good times past… so here goes:

1) What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?

Visited New York.

Ate worm salt and drank mescal.

Trusted the goodness of this universe by letting good people help me when I was in distress.

Worked at a Casino and learned how to spin the roulette ball and deal Black Jack.

Worked as a hostess, both at the Casino and at Gröna Lund.

Moved in to a commune.

Broke up in a harmonious way.

Told my dad I have daddy-issues, but that he can’t solve them. (okay, not “told” as much as wrote in a text message… I’m still a little scared of him.)

Got a tattoo. (the awesomeness!)

Worked as a teacher.

Created and sold fanzines.

Attended SPX.

Mastered several ceremonys (moms 50th birthday, some comic related events, the magical new years eve’s ceremony).

Bathed in hot springs on Iceland, with magical mud on my face. (magical mud you say..? But that looks a lot like… hähähä)

Ate oysters.

Enjoyed eating halloumi (am slowly conquering my weird cheese-phobia…).

Tasted Lisas grönmögelost-stew. That was too much though… My phobia has me creeping out just thinking of it.

Found a big viscious spider in my bed.

2009 was the beginning of the rest of my life. I turned 25 and it was the first birthday I spent away from mom and my sisters. This was the year of independence for me. The year when I said goodbye to all my safety-nets and found that I’m strong enough to manage on my own.

1a) Was 2009 a good year for you?

Well, duh. Only like THE BEST!

2) What was your favorite moment of the year?

One moment? ONE? This entire year has just BEEN moments goddamnit! Okay… I should choose a moment I haven‘t written a blog post about…

The night I arrived in Stockholm. I got off the train and saw couples rejoin after separations of travel on the platform. Seeing them made me happy. I knew my feelings were pure. There was no sense of envy. Only beauty and love. Then I phoned my sister (Ullis). She was gonna pick me up at central station, but hadn’t arrived yet.

We spoke on the phone for a while… I told her about a book I was reading on the train… and then she scared the living crap out of me by sneaking up behind me! I jumped, screamed and hugged her like crazy. Felt a rush of happiness. We danced around and laughed. Oh joy!

Nothing will ever come between us, Ullis. You are my life. Det finns inget som är som en syster. Ingen kan förstå mig som du. Ingen är så trygg som du. Ingen kan göra mig så förtvivlad som du. Ingen kan jag skratta så djupt och hjärtligt och lättsamt och igenkännande med som med dig. Du får aldrig lämna mig. Aldrig!

Or that day when Bella took me for the long walk on Djurgården and we ended up in Rosendals trädgårdar and we sat there in the grass, me and her, with the afternoon sun and the stillness of nature and the calm people around us.

It was B’s birthday and I didn’t call him. The first birthday of his since many years back that I didn’t make him breakfast in bed or  pamper him to make his day special.

Bella drank coffee and I had a beer. We shared some sort of homemade cake (that I spilled beer on. do’h.) and the light through the trees was orange and dreamy. This was in August. The sun set slowly.

On the way back we decided to pick flowers. I made a bouqet for R. I wasn’t certain of whether I could give him flowers yet. We hadn’t been seeing each other for very long. Only a weak or so. But Bella said he’d only enjoy them.

Walking up and down those isles of planted flowers in the evening sun. Just me and the stillness of the gardens. Bella some isles away. I picked gerberas. Red, yellow and orange gerberas. My favorite flower.

That was a perfect moment.

3) What was your least favorite moment of the year?

That day/night in NY when me and J tried to get in contact with the other Swedes and failed. Nooo… there were actually many amazing things about that night.

I’m taking that one back…

aahhmm…

With K at café Tabak maybe.

That was uncomfortable. naahhh… that’s not my least favorite moment…

God, this is hard! It feels as if I’ve enjoyed every moment in some way or the other… My darkest moments have become great lessons of life that I’ve drawn strength from. I was heartbroken a couple of times, really really heartbroken, but smiling through my tears all the time. ’cause it was so beautiful to be able to feel something.

4) Did anyone close to you die?

The old me. I felt as if this year was a rite of passage where I let some parts of me die, to make room for this new being. A being without fear, without dependence, worry or anxiety.

5) What are your plans for 2010?

To live fearless and experience greatness.

6) What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?

There weren’t many things missing in 2009. 2009 was an amazing year. I loved almost every moment. So I guess I’ll go with just writing J. ‘Cause it’d be nice to have’im. But it’s fine if I don’t. There will allways come new summer mornings. New sunsets. New friends and lovers. I will sweep through the days of this life like a soft breeze, stroking the cheeks of passersby on my way towards the kingdom of heavenly bliss… (I do have a poetic side to me, don’t I?)

Am I a player?

Funny thing I’ve noticed: I actually use some of the techniques that are presented in “Uppdraget” (and also in “The Game“) by Neil Strauss, and I have been using them for years to manipulate people around me into liking me.

But I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing though. As long as my goal is to make people feel good and comfortable when they’re around me, and not like… brainwash them… or try to get into their pants… or anything creepy like that.

If you use books like these in the right way, they could actually help to make this world a nicer and more interesting place for everyone to live in.

There’s a chapter on ‘telling stories’ for example. Telling stories is (in my opinion) the most beautiful and inspiring thing a person can do.  Telling a story is opening up and letting other people inside you. It is making a connection with others and also it’s a way of making sense of this world we live in. This world which at times can seem so illogical and cruel… Stories are needed to get us through this life with our sanity somewhat intact.

I imagine an everyday life where strangers just start talking to me out of the blue, where they put fear of rejection away and just share their thoughts or memories for the fun of it. Simply to make human connections. To make the days and nights of our lives more entertaining and meaningful.

I love it when that happens. When strangers come up to me and start chatting. Men as well as women, old as well as young, there doesn’t have to be any form of attraction involved, just a human life with stories to share.

It’s actually better if there isn’t any attraction involved. That’s when you can listen to the stories without being interrupted by self awareness (such as “how does my hair look?” “Is he checking me out?” “Do I look attentive and interested?”). That’s when nothing gets in the way of truly listening and sharing.

I’ve worked in sales, both outdoors and indoors sales, and I can only state that I was a natural at it. I think it’s because I always seek that connection with strangers, a connection you need to enjoy to be a good salesperson.

The whole selling stuff-part of the job was just an excuse to get to speak to strangers and try to make a good enough connection with them, make them feel comfortable enough with me, get them to trust me enough, to buy whatever it was I wanted them to buy. Bearing in mind now that I was never interested in their money. I never counted my profits while working. It was simply a game of getting people to like me and trust me in a short amount of time. The exchanging of money and goods was nothing more than a physical materialised proof of my success. This drive in me could just as easily be applied to working for a political party… gathering names for some humanitarian cause… or getting elected prom queen.

I’m manipulative and I get kicks out of it… Sometimes I choose to see it as being inspirational. They’re two sides of the same coin. Yes. But when there’s money involved, it’s… wrong. I tend to lose track of right and wrong when I get too involved in the competition of it all. That’s one of the reasons why I know I’ll never go back to working in sales… Also, there’s the fact that it doesn’t give me enough of a sense of purpose to work with exchanging stuff for money.

Neil writes about purpose too. And he writes about setting goals. About taking a good look at yourself in the mirror and about working hard and putting an effort into bettering yourself.

All good things. Goes to show you shouldn’t judge a book by it’s covers.

Still I’m really looking forward to finishing this book… so I can dive into The Dirt ! I’ve heard so many great things about it, from various people who’s opinions I trust and respect.

I know of course that it can’t be as moving and inspiring for me as the Jenna biography, but I like Neils way of writing. There’s no fuss to it. He keeps his frasing clean and straight and there are no unecessary sentences.

(Just a small but though: if I’d have been editor for the Jenna-book I would have cut the interview-parts… they were a bit confusing… and not very interesting in content… goes to show even the sun has its spots!)

Aaaight, time for me to be getting back to my books now, my sweet darlings. Laters y’all! 

Sleepless night

Last night when I was alone at Comic Art School, WordPress.com suddenly just shut me out.

It was tough to handle for a while, I tried four different computers, all with the same frustrating result. I then went back in to my studio, ate some chocolate and drew this, which made everything better.

Translation: Kl 02.49. New tab. dirt/filth/porn.

This weekend I’m gonna avoid going outside. I need sunshine and flowers and rainbows right now, and if the outside world can’t provide me with that… well, then I’m burying my nose in a good book instead.

Only in Russia

Three of my cousins lived in Russia for a couple of years. Their dad is a foreign correspondent working for Dagens Nyheter and he was stationed in Russia a few years back. My cousins attended school there and eventually came to call that strange and enchanted land their home.

Now this was many years ago, they’re all back in Sweden, 

but once you go Russian I don’t think the country ever really leaves your soul…

These are a few of the reasons why:

For more “Only in Russia”-pics, go to: http://sneezl.com/only-in-russia/