Better but not done

Okay, so I took care of what was wrong with the second page and added a third page. Still need to re-arrange the panels on the first page though. And give the inking some extra finesse too.

 

Unt now! Second page. Very different from the first version. Much better, but I still need to get some background in the last panel… the dirty panel. *blushing*

Aaaand now

*drum roll* 

Third page!

The text is still the same, just spread out on more panels.

No! It’s not the same! I actually made a few changes in the text when I re-drew it.  Should probably translate it all over again for you guys…

Hey, tell ya what! I’ll fix what needs fixing and then put it up with english text in the panels!

d_^_^_b